It's weird, having been on this journey for a couple years now to see how I've changed.
I've still got a long way to go, and there's a lot I need to do to get to where I want to be, but how I view my life now, compared to how I did before I started this journey has fundamentally changed.
My goal of this blog is to provide content for people to read and get to know me once I'm a published author. Give some form of content people can review while in between books (which hopefully shouldn't be too long once I figure this editing thing out). But it's also hopefully to capture my progression from an early stages author to whatever follows.
And today's topics is about a change I've noticed in myself for a while now. I struggle to find a balance.
Even though the tasks I put out on my post-its are hard, take a lot of self-motivation for me to do, and sometimes even require me to mentally drag myself to them despite my enjoyment of doing them, when I am not actively working on a task, I haunt my mind with what could have been.
Recently, I've discovered the Cradle Series by Will Wight. And it's awesome. I read the last two in March 2023, and as of April 15, I've read up to Book 10 (Reaper). Back in the day, before UL, before getting serious about writing I would binge read like that all the time. I'd live in books, barely coming up for air, food, drinks, and bathroom breaks before returning to the fictional world. It was great.
It's been a while since I've felt that for a new series, for something I haven't experienced before, but Cradle hit that niche. It used to feel great when I'd binge, but now, as the tasks slip by, I find that once I come back up for air, the sullen weight of responsibilities that I've failed to meet rise with me. It sucks.
I find myself in a weird sort of yin-yang. On one side is the love of reading, on the other is the weight of responsibilities, a mental torment that holds my feet to the fire for not reaching my goals for the day. For not doing what I know I'm capable of.
And I think that it's due to a lack of balance. I've got to find the line between resting and working. Doing things I enjoy and building towards my dream. Working a 9-5 outside of the dream makes things more complicated, but I got to live somehow. There are obstacles and there's the path I need to take to overcome them.
Ultimately, the solution is discipline. There is no peace in abandonment and there is no joy without absorbing stories, of experiencing worlds created by people with the same dreams, wishing to share something of themselves in their stories. There is a balance to be found, a golden line to walk, but the only way to find it is through discipline.
If I abandon my responsibilities today, that'll only make tomorrow harder, but if I never exist in the present moment to enjoy the fruits of my labor, life can be joyless. And somewhere out there, there's a perfect balance where I can climb the mountains of my life and enjoy the moments of small bliss, moments where I can live in someone else's world and enjoy their stories for a couple days.
And Cradle is great. I highly recommend it.
Anyways, I'll keep trying to figure it out, that's all I got, and I hope you all have a great day!
Sincerely,
Josh Acocella
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